A bit more of our “nuclear family,” and the heart of this series: Jane, John’s wife, and Julie, their daughter. Naming three of your main characters with the same first initial and with names of approximately the same length seems like a cute idea at first, and then, far too late, you realize it was really f’n stupid.
It makes it hard to script, quite simply. This sounds like a small matter, but when you’re typing the same names hundreds of not thousands of times, the slip between “John” and “Jane” is much easier to make than, say, the slip between “Abdul” and “Zatoichi.” Confusion ensues.
The intent, which was not a bad one, was to make them so whitebread that it would ground all the counterweighting weirdness in their lives. You have to believe that this is a couple that’s based a LOT of their lives on normalcy, enough that they’ll fight through weird instead of letting it toss them right off the rails. This becomes the emotional core of the series, although I found that out a little too late.
Did I mention I wrote this an issue at a time as it went along? That was the biggest mistake of my creative life. MUCH more on that as things roll along here.
Ambiance: It's like Leave It To Beaver on crack. Reasonable Dad is trying to coax his pouting daughter out of his room, doting wife at his side. But dad's dead, mom's in denial and the daughter is pretty justifiably freaking out.
PANEL ONE
JOHN is lightly tapping on the door of JULIE'S room. JANE watches from over his shoulder, wringing her hands. She is obviously alive.
JOHN
Julie? Sweetie, it's daddy.
DOOR
Go away.
PANEL TWO
JOHN's face is close to the door, cocked to listen for JULIE's voice behind it. Parental concern, with an underlay of fear of exposure. What if JULIE tells somebody about all this?
JOHN
Your mommy is very worried about you.
DOOR
I don't care.
PANEL THREE
In JULIE's bedroom. She's sitting on her bed, close to the window. There's a resonance between this and PAGE ONE, in that Julie is also only partially lit. She's in shadow like her father.
JOHN
(off)
Can we talk about this?
JULIE
No.
PANEL FOUR
Close on JULIE now. She's under ten years old, but old for her age. She's also suffering from extreme stress, go figure. Definitely alive.
JOHN
(off)
But sweetie, if I don't know what's wrong...
JULIE
You know.
PANEL FIVE
JOHN is pulling away from the door, talking to JANE. Jane's face is worried, but JOHN is professionally calm.
JANE
She's been like this all day.
JOHN
She's fine, Jane. Just give her a bit more time.
JANE
She's not fine. She hasn't eaten today.
PANEL SIX
JOHN is turning from the door. JANE follows.
JOHN
She'll come around.
JANE
All day. She won't even open the door for a sandwich.
